Through Sound And Time: 2002

I have, for much of my life, believed in the soul power of music and how it speaks to a person and how sharing those feelings, and that music, can be one of the best feelings in the world.  I have not always been so good at getting other people to understand that listening to my music was a good idea.  There was a time when I struggled against the powers of pop to bring people something they could truly enjoy.  One such time was New Years 2002.

Paul (my aforementioned best friend and comrade in the pits) had decided that after last year’s debacle we would play it cool with local friends back in south Jersey at Brian Adamonis’ girlfriend’s sisters’ house.  This was an era where I was reveling in the fact that a person could be a person without having to have a person.  Whereas most if not all of my friends were dating or in one friend’s situation “not dating” people in relationships.  My friend’s girlfriends had become the bane of my existence.  I had become the dreaded fun friend.  The loud-mouthed asshole who said whatever was on his mind.  If you think I’m bad these days, you should have seen me in my prime.
Either way, the night was full of other people drinking and hooking up with their girlfriends while I was left to control the music situation.  Kazaa was used heavily to procure something worth dealing with in my misery.  And as eventful as the last new years had been this one was a flop.  I definitely wish I went upto New Brunswick, instead I was switching turns playing music with Christine Choplin, who had a thing for Toad the Wet Sprocket, a band I still fervently disbelieve anyone can call their all-time favourite band.  And yet there was Christine, defying the laws of space, time, rock and roll and Natural Selection in one devastating blow.  HA! I still have a little bit of that asshole left after all.
Right, so county college swept on and I stepped up to the plate with 4 classes.  Three Photo and another English lit class.  I learned Photoshop and built a dark room inside my house.  Come spring time I had decided I was moving to Rutgers and I was going to transfer to Mason Gross for Photography.  It was a big step in the right direction.
This was the year I would drive around listening to Green Day’s Dookie album.  I know that I was about ten years off on this one but I had picked it up and I couldn’t put it down.  New Found Glory‘s self titled Album got a lot of playtime.  The Ataris were a huge staple of my driving music.  Iron Maiden had found it’s way into my music collection.  My friend Dave DeJesus and I were taking trips up to NB a bunch so we had time to bounce music off each other.  He showed me bands like Zao and Catch 22.
When I moved in June, Paul and I started working in the Freehold mall at a Ritz camera.  We would spend our days on the beach and our weekends peddling cameras.  After a few weeks I got my current roommate, Kevin,  and another friend of ours, Gerry, a job losing people’s film.  One of the great things about most of the jobs I’ve had is that there has always been room for friends.  Kev, Gerry, Paul and I would turn up the charm and sell things to people that they didn’t need or want, half the time Paul was drunk while he was printing film.  We spent a lot of time goofing off and taking pictures of the store.  Gerry had a penchant for Dashboard Confessional so that became a thing for us.
I spent a lot of time reading because we didn’t have any cable television that summer.  H.P. Lovercraft, Neil Gaiman’s Smoke and Mirrors, Legend of the Five Rings.
That summer we played a lot of beer pong, well I played with Mountain Dew.  Now don’t judge us we all did this in college.  We thumped our chests and butted heads and gasp listened to Good Charlotte.  I wish I could say I did it ironically or that I didn’t enjoy it a little bit.  But they were good times and this happened to be the soundtrack to this summer.  I’m sure you have some music that you wish you didn’t own.  I’m talking to you, the guy who bought the Dog’s Eye View album.  So hold your stones lest I pull out some holier than thou Jesus stuff, healing the meek and inheriting the earth turning water into fish and bread into wine.
The year wore on and we start hosting shows in our basement.  Too many bands to mention them all but off the top of my head we had, Puck on Six, Tokyo Rose, My Chemical Romance, Armour for Sleep, Paulson… so many acts that went on to some amount of fame.  This is when I started laying the ground work for Rocker Tycoon.  Paul and I started writing a Zine called the Alternative.  I covered the bands and Paul worked on the events.  Zines were the thing to do back in 2002 you weren’t anyone if you didn’t have a Geocities page and fax /copy/ printer.  This also started my journey into the realm of local music.  I did shoots with bands like Shade and even shot a few bands from other countries that were staying in town.  Music journalism was undergoing a huge upheavel with Digital SLRs taking over the photo market and I was still shooting with my Nikon F100 film camera and transferring the stills to CD via film scanner.  It was archaic and an unsound method of creating a news source.  There was so much over-head and waste we weren’t even selling these things, just handing them out at shows and interviewing bands.
December came and I remember that Paul and I had run out of oil to heat the house and without the $400 needed to fill the tank we just had to figure out ways of staying warm.  I worked in the mall as often as I could.  Then the unthinkable happened.  It was December 14th I was driving to work and someone hit me dead in the side in their car.  After the smoke cleared and everything legal was settled I lost my car to damage and my License for a year.  I was driving without insurance.  Freehold court threw the book at me.  Things began to take a harsh spiral and my dad even asked me if I was gonna have to move back.  I couldn’t do it.  Not after all the hard work I’d put in and come spring semester I was applying for Mason Gross.  I had to muscle it out and figure out a new way to live.  I paid my rent with my next paycheck and started looking for a job in town.  During this soul crushing blow my friends most of these people I’d only recently met really kicked my ass into gear.  I was sinking into a depression and they were determined not to let me drown.
New years this year was a big turn around for me.  I was still alive after two weeks of not working and I hadn’t burrowed any money from anyone.  Rent was paid and About 9 days prior I had started drinking.  This was a big deal to a lot of my friends. Many people were worried that this was going to become a serious problem because of the time I started.  I was 22 and just didn’t have any reason not to drink anymore.  I didn’t drive, so I couldn’t protect my friends by staying sober and getting them home.  It was high time I took a break from being the responsible sober kid at the party.  I remember little from that New Years aside from just running around hanging out with friends and singing along to A LOT of Alkaline Trio.  2002 you were a bum of a year, I miss the hell out of you.

The Tao of Zac

Sometimes I relearn a life lesson or a learn a new one. I try to live to a standard. This last week I’ve been struggling to get some articles out of my head. When I start having trouble writing I try to work on something different or write something different in hopes that I’ll be reborn fresh after I get it out. So here’s a list. Those are pretty popular by blog standards. It’s called the Tao of Zac. I hope you agree or learn something or maybe you just chuckle.

1. Trust your gut, it is crazy person radar.
In my time living away from my home, I’ve learned one brutal lesson. There is a direct correlation between the frequency of crazy people meetings and the number of bars within a ten block radius of where ever you are. It’s a sad fact, but it holds true. If you get that same feeling around a person as you did when they introduced the bad guy in an after school special, do yourself a favor and pretend your phone is broken.

2. Know your friends.
There are people you can trust, whether you’ve known them all you’re life or a few weeks. Stick with the people that have your best interest in mind. They’ll keep you grounded and make sure to keep you out of trouble. Don’t forget to return the favor. We all need a swift kick in the ass every now and then.

3. Forget your enemies.
Dwelling on the negative people in your life is a sure fire way to accomplish nothing. If you’ve been sleighted, then by all means note that mentally, but the key here is note it, don’t actively seek to defame or harm another person. Kharmically speaking it’s a lose/lose and it makes you look like you think your shit doesn’t stink. (We all know it does.)

4. Don’t bank on anyone but your self.
I’m not saying don’t trust anyone. I’m saying you can’t blame anyone but yourself for bad decisions. You are ultimately responsible for everything good and bad that happens to you. Maybe I should say own your actions, but I think this will help you remember better.

5. Stay Positive, It goes a long way.
This one is important. It proves to everyone around you that you have the mental toughness to handle failure, and you know that success isn’t some philosopher’s stone that will never be deciphered in your time. That’s not to say that life isn’t going to suck time to time. The whole world doesn’t need to know your woes. Which brings me to the next rule.

6. Vent with people you trust.
Within my circle of friends, I’m probably the comedian. I like to tell my friends about my day by talking a little bit of shit about what went wrong here or there, either about work or girls or my family. It helps to me to freak out a bit, laugh it off and then move on. In this day and age it’s not ok to post your woes and gripes in a public forum like Facebook or Twitter. Doing that is in direct violation of rule #5 and makes you look like an ass that doesn’t care about the feelings of others.

7. There is nothing a genuine apology can’t fix.
We all screw up, some of us more than others, sometimes worse than others. But if you are a dynamic human being, (I’m guessing that if you got this far you must be on the path to it at least) you learn from your mistakes. This is life after all, to not ruin things every now and then would make for boring days indeed. When that happens, look a person in the eye, express your concern for the trust you have squandered and move forward.

8. Don’t apologize unless you mean it.
On occasion you will do something wrong, that you either meant to do and are not sorry for or you actually didn’t do anything wrong. (These cases should be less frequent that the later) If you did something that you are not sorry for defend your stance when challenged, but do not become righteous. Explain yourself and why you did it. In the event that you didn’t actually do anything wrong and you are still being persecuted simply agree to disagree and move forward, dwelling on it won’t do either party any good.

9. Stay Honest, no one likes a snake.
This is almost an extension of Rule #8, But so much more important. If you are honest all the time you need never worry about not being believed. When you tell someone something important they know that you can be trusted. Remember that trust is maybe the strongest bond between two people, but much like a chain, need only be broken once to be useless.

10. Beware of people who are too friendly, they want something.
I lived in the South for a few months and then had to come back North. The reason I moved back is because everyone was so nice it A) was misleading and B) annoying as all get out. Where I’m from people who are overly nice without provocation are called grifters. I’m sure you have a friend that has a bunch of friends that you are pretty sure are using him/her for his money or influence. Beware or these kinds of friends. I call them bullshit friends. My father once told me to never lend out money I wasn’t willing to part with. He told me that it’s the kind of thing that will end a friendship most easily. Now my friend’s and I have helped each other out with a buck here and there, but these are people I’ve grown to trust with things like house keys and internet passwords. I like to give when I’m around my friends, I’ll sped the last dollar in my pocket if it means having a good time, but make sure you’re not always parting ways with the shirt off your back.

11. You are not responsible for the livelihood of your bartender.
This is simple. You don’t need to hit the bar every night. I’m a bartender, my patrons are my friends and combined they help keep me from going broke. But you need to prioritize. I’ll live if I don’t see you for a week. In fact, I’ll probably even ask you where you’ve been. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Save a few bucks every now and then and get sober for a week every couple of months. It will do you a world of good. And it’ll lower your tolerance so once you get back you won’t need to drink so much to have a good time.

12. Punctuality is key
I try to be on time for everything. If I’m constantly on time, I can be counted on for that at least. I’ve had jobs where I’ve been promoted above other people just based on the fact that I’m never late. They may have even been more suited for the job, but the boss knows that I’ll be there in a pinch.

13. Listen when you ask a question.
I call this the reunion rule. When I see people from high school and college, I genuinely try to get real info on of them. How have they been? What are they upto now? Married? Kids? Living where? I don’t do this to “network” with people. It simply makes me a worthy human being. There’s nothing worse than when someone asks you what you’ve been doing, and right after you answer they tell you what they’ve been doing and everything that they’ve been doing that last few years, as if they never asked you about yourself at all. That’s the kind of transparent self-absorbed person no one wants to deal with. By all means promote yourself tell folks what you’ve been doing but have a little tact at least ask a few questions about the other person’s life.

14. Do it right the first time, otherwise you’ll just do it again.
You’ll get more done doing things right. You’ll backpeddle less and you’ll feel more confident. Never you mind about the guy at work that does 8 things in the time you did 3. He most likely writes like he’s nine. I’ll bet his people skills are lack luster as well.

15. Keep it simple, more things means more to worry about.
I live in a white room with a white bed, a little metal desk and a computer. I have a tv that I use to play music mostly. I live ascetically, I have tons of really cool gadgets and a great collection of books. But none of these things make me a whole person. You can’t judge yourself by the things you own. PUT DOWN THAT GQ! You don’t need the newest iwhatever.

16. Naysayers and Haters are everywhere, if you don’t have a few you probably aren’t doing anything worthwhile.
Everyone’s a critic. Most of them are insecure about their place in the world or their failed dreams. A lot of people told me I’d never make it as a photographer or a writer. Seems like I’m doing alright. Sometimes I even look forward to a little hate, it keeps me humble. There’s nothing worse than a rock star that tells you how much he rocks. Let the naysayers be your inspiration, let the haters tell you what you’re doing right.

17. Learn from experience, it’s ok to change your mind, nothing is written in stone.
A lot of things I learned growing up hold true today still, but some are archaic teachings of yesteryear and/or the ravings of a mad teenager. Never stop learning. And never believe anything you know is more than just a theory. Remember that Theories are often disproved or modified as new information comes in. In short: Don’t Sell Out, Buy In.

18. Keep a journal. The unexamined life is not worth living.
You’d be surprised how much you learn and grow each year. It’s good you look back and see how much you’ve changed. Sometimes You’ll like the change, sometimes not. Even if you just write a little bit about your life each week you’ll have 52 entries buy the end of the year. I read somewhere that if you wrote 50 words a day you’d have a novel in three years. That’s an impressive amount of work for a small amount of time.

19. Once a week: help someone, get out of your comfort zone, read something printed.
You’ll be surprised about how much your life improves when you do something good for another person. You can’t feel bad about yourself when you see that your life has had a positive effect on others. Try something new be it food, new part of town, new way home. You may be surprised by the result. Get of the internet and read a real book. They are classics for a reason. I suggest Notes from the Underground by Dostoyevsky. It’s a great start for a cynic.

20. Work your Job (for Money) and Follow your passion (for Spirit).
Do what you love for a living and never work a day in your life. BULLSHIT I say. You work twice as hard, and risk everything, if it fails. Things you love are generally easier than “real work”. I make a bit of loot Writing and doing photowork, but I tend bar to pay the bills. For now this works out. I feel like things are coming together nicely. There is a good balance here and I don’t get stressed from trying to live off my dream or complacent from just making money and not following my passion. It’s important to make sure you take care of the whole picture a rare few of us get to combine the two without much effort. But normally my “never work a day in your life” friends are working much more (and harder for that matter) than my “hybrid life” friends